March 31st, 2009 looking out our front door - Springtime in Nova Scotia!
March 31st, 2009 Looking out our back door at the Lake...the robins should arrive any day now...NOT!
I am waiting for the change in the season. With the fresh snowfall today I am ready for winter to end and spring to begin. I am feeling the same in my walk with God. I have just come through a winter season and I am ready for the spring. God is doing a work in me. One of the things that I have started to become aware of is that He wants me to die to self. He has asked that I die to self.
"Indeed, I have been crucified with Christ. My ego is no longer central. It is no longer important that I appear righteous before you or have your good opinion, and I am no longer driven to impress God. Christ lives in me. The life you see me living is not "mine," but it is lived by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. I am not going to go back on that." Galatians 2:20 (Message)
In order to allow God to work through me I have to give Him my life. I have had to release so much to Him these past months.... My sons were the first to go. They are of an age that I no longer control what they do and I must trust and I must believe that God is doing His own work through them. I have to trust their very lives in the hand of the One that I trust my own life to. I have had to release my finances. Not the least bit easy. I am working on releasing my ministries, my marriage just to name a few. As Christians we say these words - "I release them" and we say things as Christians that roll so slickly off of our tongues but do we actually believe them? How often have you said I trust God and have faith but do you trust God with certainty. We had a speaker at StoneRidge this weekend that challenged do we have faith "with certainty" and it made me think and think hard about doubts I didn't even know I had. What does it mean to die to self. I know that is what God is saying to me...now what does it mean? How do we daily in our everyday lives with our children, with our housework, with our spouses, with our co-workers with our friends, with all those that cross our paths...do we truly walk dead to self and open to the Spirits leading? Dead isn't not caring or being apathetic I think it is the actual opposite of this. We have small victories but victories none the less and do we even recognize it. I am at a point in my life that I must trust God. As surely as winter turns to spring so is God working in me right now. I've been wondering or asking God lately ..."ok are you sure that I am the vessel you want to use"? This cracked and broken vessel that leaks... How incredible that God uses us as broken vessels. One of my three words this year was Victory. Victory comes sometimes through very serious battles. I am going to see Victory over many things this year but not as easily as it rolled off of my tongue. Had I known what Victory would entail I might not have put the word down. I prayed last year "Do something huge through me God". Now as He pulls me through the refiners fire I am aware of what a daily walk something huge requires of me and I am a broken vessel that must rely on God. How does God want to use you this year? How is God changing you? I'd love to hear what is on your hearts concerning this dying to self?
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